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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The lions calf muck up day (draft)

W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a
  • Title
  • Orientation:  When? Who? Where? Why?
  • Sequence of events:  What happened?


The   lions   calf    muck  up   day


One Sunny day the buffalos were walking through the desert, just walking along the dry grass. Me the  lion I felt happy when I attack the calf and chased it because it’s really weak and slow that is why I chased the baby buffalo. And because, the baby buffalo was very slow and then the bigger ones came and chased us away, and they tried to put their horns and try to hook us up and swing us away, so we ran off so we don’t get hurt. Before we went and started, we walk off to go home,and leave the buffalos alone, and be happy ever after.


I was sunbathing in the sun and we, saw a whole herd of buffalos came along the desert, at I started chasing the little baby buffalo, because it was very  weak and slow.

I had a noth of chasing the little buffalo, we took it and started taking the baby buffalo to the pond, and we were biting it it didn’t die it was still, alive and then the,crocodile came and we played tug of war, we didn’t share the little buffalo because it was our feast for dinner. But we couldn’t  eat it because the bigger buffalos were near they scared, us away from eating the buffalo it didn’t die it got , away, because the huge big buffalos came towards us we ran and some stayed like three stayed and the rest left some they, don’t get swung up in the air and die we don’t want, to die because we could be faster than the buffalos, can run 10km and hour. lions can run 1000kms and hour not, not buffalos.

5 comments:

  1. Hi Abbagale, I really liked your written story. It is outstanding. Some sentences don't make sense like (Me the lion) and do you think lions can run 1000 km/h. I think you need to work on your sentences. But anyway Great Job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you Samyog it does make sense on the part where it says Me the lion.

      Delete
    2. because im the lion

      Delete
  2. Thanks for sharing this Abbagale. I found this a bit confusing because it seems to be two different stories. You also need to use the read write app and listen to it to make sure the story makes sense. This will also help you with correcting the punctuation mistakes you have.
    I am really looking forward to seeing this recount develop and seeing the progress.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that you Mr Scott for the kind comment you put.

      Delete

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