space chimp story
Then I swung out of the rocket ship, after I swung out of the rocket ship, I quickly said to the pilot person and said I was going to show you a picture of Jim, she said “OK show me the picture of Jim what does he look like on the picture” so I show the girl pilot the picture and called out to JIM!
And said come back because I miss you, but he didn’t hear a thing, because he was gone for ever, when he didn’t come I went looking for him, because he’s my best friend, that I ever have had.
In the night space there are glistering stars, and glistering colours in the night sky.
He might be looking for me if he is i'm going to look for him, I love my friend because I lived with him, but now I don’t, because I can’t find him, and he can’t find me, After I thought to myself.
( I thought where could JIM! Be)? Because I miss him he could of thought that he was lost, and looking for some help, because he could be scared and lonely. My poor old friend will be wondering where I am!!! And i'm going to find out where he has gone to because he could of got hurt, from some meany because there could be heaps of meanies around here on earth.
On earth I might not have any fun because Jim’s gone and I feel lonely and scared i'm by myself everyday sometimes because I can’t find my friend i'm bored of sickness because i'm by myself for the rest of my life probably because that’s what I think very boring earth i'm on for my whole life.
I'm your dad you listen to me no i'm not listening to you because you are a stranger, and you would never ever be my parent my real Dad would but he died you didn’t so you aren’t ever going to be my dad because I don’t know you,and you don’t know me and i'm not telling you me name i'm a chimp that you know because you can tell that i'm a chimp i'm a old chimp i'm running away from you stranger.
When I was in the space car I said to the pilot before she or he took off are you having a good day today pilot because I want to go back to space because earth is all smashed up so it look like people will die but they may not because some people are better than other.
My best friend Jim use to take to wherever I want to go if I wanted to go to the shop he would take Me to the shop, since he gone he can’t take Me wherever I want to go to,he was the best person until earth was smash up.
I feel very sad because I don’t have Jim, near Me I feel as old as a old man like I am going to die but i'm probably not even going to die it feels like it because it’s nearly times that I should've died but I need to stay alive because if I die Jim might be sad and lonely just keeps on looking out for his friend Me.
On earth people are probably hiding in some building so they wouldn’t even get hurt from people that are mean and unkind because they kill and hurt and shoot people.
When I was in space it’s beautiful looking the coolest planet is earth because earth is my home where I live in, and when I woke thought it wasn’t a dream until I woke up on earth earth is sometimes fun when I have my best friend Jim he use to always be right near Me until he took off somewhere like a village somewhere far far far away it could also be in another country like china, canada.
I feel sad and lonely like Jim could be lonely because he’s my best-friend that always use to be near Me all them time on my hole life that I have been around for…
The end
Im proud of my work because I have done so much work...
You have done a great job Abbagale! Your story has a good picture and there is a lot of good descriptive parts to. But there are a lot of spelling mistakes and you have missed a lot of punctuation like this ( I thought where could JIM! Be? ) It doesn't make much sense and I don’t understand the ending, there isn’t enough detail, I can’t find the twist and the setting just doesn't show up for me. What does the stranger? What do you look like? You haven't described what it was like on the landing. But anyway Keep up the good work!
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